10 things parents can do to help prevent eating disorders

1. Consider your thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors toward your own body and the way that these beliefs have been shaped by the forces of weightism and sexism. Then educate your children about (a) the genetic basis for the natural diversity of human body shapes and sizes and (b) the nature and ugliness of prejudice.
- Make an effort to maintain positive attitudes and healthy behaviors. Children learn from the things you say and do!

2. Examine closely your dreams and goals for your children and other loved ones. Are you overemphasizing beauty and body shape, particularly for girls?
- Avoid conveying an attitude which says in effect, “I will like you more if you lose weight, don’t eat so much, look more like the slender models in ads, fit into smaller clothes, etc.”
- Decide what you can do and what you can stop doing to reduce the teasing, criticism, blaming,
staring, etc. that reinforce the idea that larger or fatter is “bad” and smaller or thinner is “good.”

3. Learn about and discuss with your sons and daughters (a) the dangers of trying to alter one’s bodyshape through dieting, (b) the value of moderate exercise for health, and (c) the importance of eating a variety of foods in well-balanced meals consumed at least three times a day.
- Avoid categorizing and labeling foods (e.g. good/bad or safe/dangerous). All foods can be
eaten in moderation.
- Be a good role model in regard to sensible eating, exercise, and self-acceptance.

4. Make a commitment not to avoid activities (such as swimming, sunbathing, dancing, etc.) simply because they call attention to your weight and shape. Refuse to wear clothes that are uncomfortable or that you don’t like but wear simply because they divert attention from your weight or shape.

5. Make a commitment to exercise for the joy of feeling your body move and grow stronger, not to purge fat from your body or to compensate for calories, power, excitement, popularity, or perfection.

6. Practice taking people seriously for what they say, feel, and do, not for how slender or “well put together” they appear.

7. Help children appreciate and resist the ways in which television, magazines, and other media distort the true diversity of human body types and imply that a slender body means power, excitement, popularity, or perfection.

8. Educate boys and girls about various forms of prejudice, including weightism, and help them
understand their responsibilities for preventing them.

9. Encourage your children to be active and to enjoy what their bodies can do and feel like. Do not limit their caloric intake unless a physician requests that you do this because of a medical problem.

10. Do whatever you can to promote the self-esteem and self-respect of all of your children in intellectual, athletic, and social endeavors. Give boys and girls the same opportunities and encouragement. Be careful not to suggest that females are less important than males, e.g., by exempting males from housework or childcare. A well-rounded sense of self and solid self-esteem are perhaps the best antidotes to dieting and disordered eating.

These steps were written by Michael Levine, PhD, reprinted with permission. For more info go to nationaleatingdisorders.org.

National Eating Disorders Association Info

National Eating Disorders Association from NEDA on Vimeo.

The National Eating Disorders Association has wonderful resources for individuals or loved ones struggling with an eating disorder. Click here to go to their website: www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

Questions PSA from NEDA on Vimeo.

drive through happiness

We all want our quick fix. And some healing can be found in a short amount of time. But deep growth takes longer.

Remember the principle of the acorn and the oak tree - it doesn't take long to grow an acorn but it takes time to develop an oak tree.

Do you want to be an acorn or an oak tree?

the magic of online dating

I read somewhere that soon more couples will be together from meeting online than through meeting other ways. In our technological society this makes sense to me. Sure, we might wish we could meet our life partner through a friend or by growing up together. But for many folks this just doesn't happen.

It makes sense that if you spend time with the same people all the time (none of whom you see as potential partners) that it could be difficult to meet someone new you might be interested in. A family member of mine read a book a while back about putting yourself in new experiences so that you could meet someone and get to know them. The idea makes sense to me. If you don't ever put yourself out there how do you expect to meet someone new?

This is why the idea of folks meeting on the internet doesn't bother me. In our society it is a very real way to meet new people.

I have quite a lot of friends that I know mainly online. I have blogger friends, message board friends, and facebook friends. It is true that I don't know if the people are presenting themselves accurately and so it helps to be cautious (I have heard that a large number of folks on certain dating sites are actually married). And if I had children I would be very cautious about this kind of thing.

However, there are now dating sites that screen folks to assist in the dating online process. I have known a number of friends who have met their partners on sites such as eharmony (I know you've seen the commercials...).

And yet, despite living in a technological society where it can be hard to meet people, many folks longing to be in a relationship refuse to consider meeting someone via the internet. I have some ideas about why this is. And yet I don't really understand it.

So let me ask - If you were single and looking for a relationship, would you consider getting to know folks via the internet? Why or why not?

Stop Shoulding Yourself

There was a time in my life when I would tell myself a lot of "shoulds".

You know....

I should do this.

I should do that.

I should should should should.

It didn't make me feel very good. Instead, with shoulds I usually ended up feeling guilty and overextended.

The problem with shoulds, is that it can put a lot of false expectations, guilt, and negativity on a person. In fact, folks with anxiety and depression tend to have a lot of shoulds in their heads. Often they feel guilty about not measuring up to all the things they ought to do or be.

And I always wonder who says? Who says that you should do or not do something? A lot of times society or people in our lives put pressure on us to be a certain way - and it is often unrealistic and not what's best.

Instead of saying I should do something, I think a better way to express ourselves is to say

I want....

or

I think the right thing to do is...

or

I will...

Do you see the different between saying I should do something versus saying I want to do something because it is the right thing to do? The latter is a more powerful statement that allows you to take responsibility rather than have false expectations or guilt about how you think you ought to be.

Do you have a lot of shoulds in your life? Where do those expectations come from? Do they help you to accomplish goals or just make you feel guilty for what you're not doing?

Stopping the shoulds is one way of stopping negative thinking.

parenting help?

Toothpaste for dinner did this awesome comic. And isn't it so true?

And yet I recommend parenting books all the time...

family meetings

Beth Taylor had a great post today about family communication. She gives a great example of how to foster openness and communication in a family (which includes teenagers).

Definitely check it out by clicking here.

top 60 church blogs

I also recently came across a list from Church Relevance on the

top 60 church blogs.

I'm interested in checking out more of these sites. Some I have been reading for some time and I will say that the discussions can be interesting.

To check out this list click here.

And sorry, I just like the pic.

top 100 mental health blogs

I recently came across Online University Reviews list of the

top 100 mental health blogs.

There are some great looking resources on this list.

To check it out click here.

resources for intuitive eating

For those who are interested in learning more about intuitive eating there are several great books that deal with the subject. Intuitive eating is a treatment for eating disorders - but it also applies to most Americans who've developed a pattern of disordered eating.


When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies was one of the first books I read on the topic and is a great introduction. It gives a lot of empowering information on overcoming an obsession with food and weight. The authors also have a website which you might find interesting www.overcomingovereating.com.







I really like this second book on the topic and I think Geneen Roth has wonderful insight. She has written a number of books on the subject that are all good, but Breaking Free from Emotional Eating gives great strategies to learn how to break the dieting cycle and begin to eat intuitively. Geneen also has a website at www.geneenroth.com.







And of course there is the book called Intuitive Eating. It was from these author's website www.intuitiveeating.com - that I got the principles of intuitive eating. The book will give you much more information and details on how you can implement intuitive eating.








There are many other books, websites, and coaches that you can find to help you implement intuitive eating if you find that you want to work more on issues related to eating (without dieting!). However, these will get you started.

You may also find when you begin to look deeper at your relationship with food and your body that you have some difficulties to overcome. A counselor educated in intuitive eating and eating disorders can work with you on finding healing from emotional eating or the destructive diet and binge patterns in our society.