Resolutions

Happy New Year! (almost)

If you will be setting any New Year's Resolutions this year you might be interested in doing a little reading on the Psychology of New Year's Resolutions.

Popular resolutions include the following:

* Lose Weight
* Manage Debt
* Save Money
* Get a Better Job
* Get Fit
* Eat Right
* Get a Better Education
* Drink Less Alcohol
* Quit Smoking Now
* Reduce Stress Overall
* Reduce Stress at Work
* Take a Trip
* Volunteer to Help Others

Apparently, in research on resolutions, men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting, a system where small measurable goals are used (lose a pound a week, instead of saying "lose weight"), while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends. (wiki)

Do you have any resolutions for the New Year?

While Christmas can be a wonderful joyful time for many people, I know this is not true for everyone.

For many it can accentuate the pain, sadness, or loneliness of difficult days.

If you have been struggling this holiday season or missing someone you love(ed) this post is for you.

Please remember to take good care of yourself.

Allow yourself time to grieve.

And take time to do the things that you find nurturing to your soul.

May you find hope in a new year.

Wishing you peace, hope, and of course LOVE.

3 Things the Happiest Women do:

According to a survey by Real Simple magazine...

1. They cancel appointments to get more time alone.

2. They don't always answer the phone.

3. They know how to say no.

This sounds like a woman with boundaries to me...

I think I'm finally getting in the holiday spirit.

This is what my afternoon entailed:

**Washing Francine and trimming her hair. (I'd put up a pic of my pretty girl but our camera is rebelling.)
**A trip with Francine and my dear husband to the pet store to get dog food and to look for a boyfriend for Francine. (She decided there were no quality prospects.)
**A trip to a couple stores to get presents for dear husband's staff Christmas party in the morning.
**A brief stop at Starbucks for hot cocoa. (it was peppermint hot cocoa actually. yum.)
**Writing out Christmas cards and thank you notes (oops, last minute, but at least it's done!)
**Wrapping presents and getting boxes ready for the mail.

Only 3 and a half days to go till Christmas. :)

What is Success?

I'm guessing you may have seen this quiz before. It's been circulating through the *forward* e-mail system for a while. Sometimes it's attributed to Charles Schulz. It was not created by the Peanuts cartoonist, but I like this forward.

Why? Because it reminds us that we don't have to be THE BEST to make an impact on others. We just have to care.


1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special!!

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials... The most money...or the most awards. They simply are the ones who care the most.

this was for charity

I recommend Hotels Combined and sent $20 to World Vision!

So apparently there is a new website that combines all the hotel sites to tell you which deals are the best from every site.

Why am I mentioning this here? Because if I blog about it and let them know, they will donate $20 to World Vision. Not a bad deal. And I checked out the website, and it did seem that they have some pretty sweet deals.

To go to the website home click here.

To go to the page that says how you can have them donate $$ to your charity click here.

the perfect woman?

Apparently a man in Canada has made a female robot named Aiko.



The creator said: “Aiko doesn’t need holidays, food or rest, and will work almost 24 hours a day. She is the perfect woman.”

Hmmm. Not my idea of a perfect woman.

What do you think?

For the full story click here.

how awesome is your Christmas Sweater?

So I found this very funny post over at Stuff Christians Like.... It was too funny not to repost...

Official Point System of Sweater Christmaweseomeness:

1. If your sweater has a nativity scene = +1 point

2. If your sweater has lights on it = +1 point

3. If your light is for Rudolph’s nose = -1 point

4. If your light is for the star of Bethlehem over your nativity scene = +4 points

5. If your sweater has actual bells and whistles from the Polar Express tied on by pieces of yarn = +2 points

6. If you can hear the bells = -2 points

7. If every time one of the bells rings, you get excited because an angel just got its wings = + 1 point

8. If your sweater has Luke 2 written out on it (the entire chapter) = +3 points

9. If it is KJV = +2 points

10. If it is actually a puff paint sweatshirt, which is really just a Christmas sweater wannabe = -3 points

11. If your sweater was knitted from the wool of a Bethlehemian sheep = +5 points

12. If you have more than 5 snowmen/women on your sweater = +2 points (+1 point for each additional snowperson)

13. If any of your snowmen are inspired by Calvin and Hobbes = +4 points

14. If it is a maternity sweater that reads “Mary is My Homegirl” = +10 points

15. If your sweater has stockings with your kids’ names on it = +1 point for each child

16. If the stockings are your kids’ used socks = -2 points for each sock

17. If it has a 3-D hologram of baby Jesus on it = +3 points

18. If it has candy canes on it = -4 points… I’m going to use this platform of SCL to take a stand against candy canes, a.k.a. carnage canes. Candy canes become sharp and dangerous once licked. It's like putting an ice pick in your mouth and poking it around. I'm sorry, but if I want the flavors of mint and blood to mix in my mouth, I'll go to the dentist. This injustice needs to stop now, so we're starting a boycott of candy canes effective immediately. I think it’s the Southern Baptist roots in me that really wanted to start a boycott. That’s why I started Humans Against Candy Knives, or H.A.C.K. Join the fight on the Facebook group I started.

19. If it has any other kind of cane on it= +2 points. This could be one of the wise men’s canes, sugar canes, or even hurricanes. Just as long as they’re not candy canes.


How did you score?

0-3 points= Sorry to break the news, but you might be a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
4-7 points= You’re rockin’ a mighty fine piece of holiday merriment, my friend. Just don’t wear your sweater and your light up reindeer antlers at the same time. That would be tacky.
8-10 points= “Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor, and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.” –Job 40:10
11-13 points= Bill Cosby called. He wants his sweater back.
14+ points= You are the embodiment of Christmawesomeness. There are probably three men coming from afar to shower you with gifts as you read this.
Less than zero points= Apparently you love candy canes.

How Christmawesome are your Christmas sweaters? Please post links in the comments section to a picture of you sporting your sweater.

the kind of acceptance you and I want

The following quote is from a friend of Philip Yancey:



"When I'm late to church, people turn around and stare at me with frowns of disapproval. I get the clear message that I'm not as responsible as they are. When I'm late to Alcoholics Anonymous, the meeting comes to a halt, and everyone jumps up to hug and welcome me. They realize that my lateness may be a sign that I almost didn't make it. When I show up, it proves that my desperate need for them won out over my desperate need for alcohol."

I always think we in the church can learn a lot about the openness and acceptance shown by those in the recovery community.

How about you?

air brushed craziness

This is just a reminder about the insane amount of air brushing that goes into all the images we see. Many pictures we see have been air brushed to become unnatural and unachievable.

So when we compare ourselves to media images, we need to remember that we are not comparing ourselves to people, but to computer generated images.

What's funny is that even a woman who is considered very beautiful is not immune to the media changing her looks to make her more *sell-able*.

Check out the retouches:


For more info click here.

I love animals, but this is just amazing

I realize the last two posts here may be way too much silliness for a blog titled Therapy. Maybe it speaks to my mental state or maybe it speaks to the fact that we all need some lighthearted fun at times...even (or maybe especially) when it comes to therapy.

So check out this video. I found it on Beth Brawley Taylor's blog (which has other good stuff too).

Confession

This is the song in my head tonight.

It gets me every time.

And yes, I know it's cheesy. I love it anyway.

You know you want to sing along.

Click here.

[...awesome tiger shirt...]

your family legacy and pickles?

Everyone Needs Therapy has a great post on how dynamics in your family of origin can impact dynamics in your future relationships.

I actually referenced the story in this post in a session I had recently.

Love it.

To read the post click here.

what is your family legacy?

In so many ways we are products of our families.

I create family maps (genograms) with folks and it's not hard to see where personal traits come from - they get passed down along the family tree. (A spiritual person might call this generational sin or blessing.)

Addictions and family traits of addicts can be pretty easy to spot on a genogram. Usually a family member a few generations back will have had an addiction and you can see the addictive trait and pattern sprinkled down through the generations into one's own family.

What is harder to spot are the family traits that we don't necessary have symbols and labels for. For example, a family might have patterns of communicating through loud arguments and be quick to anger. Or there might be a pattern in a family where fathers and sons are distant and withdrawn emotionally.

When we don't take the time to acknowledge our relational family legacy we are prone to repeating the same old cycles. Sometimes this can be a great thing. If you have a warm and loving family you will want to repeat that pattern and have warm and loving relationships. The problem comes when we have patterns we don't want to repeat. (And let's be honest - every family has those issues that we'd rather not continue...)

When we become aware of family patterns and their impact on our own lives and choices we are then able to ask ourselves if it is a pattern we want to continue repeating. I will admit that it can be tricky and take time to figure out all the relational dynamics that have been passed down through generations. And as I mentioned above, some traits will be easier to recognize.

At the same time, I believe it is very much worth the time and energy to:

*examine your history,

*acknowledge the impact on your own life and relationships,

*decide if that's a pattern you want to continue, and

*take the steps necessary to start in a new direction and path.

I will say that simply because your family "taught" you to behave a certain way doesn't mean you are not responsible for your actions or that your parents are to "blame". Rather, although you are highly influenced by your family patterns, you alone have the responsibility and choice to decide what you want your life to become.

[I could give umpteen examples of this throughout the Old Testament. Suffice it to say that often people in the family tree behaved a certain way. Yet, there were the few who examined the past and decided to choose a different path.]

If you are interested in learning about your own family patterns one of the best places to learn can be in counseling. You might want research a little about genograms and create your own family diagram. Or you might just begin by thinking about what patterns you notice in your family.

How have you been influenced by your family legacy?

acceptance

Take, O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will.

All that I am and all that I possess You have given me:

I surrender it

all to You to be disposed of according to Your will. Give me only Your love and Your grace; with these I will be rich enough, and will desire nothing more.

-St. Ignatius Loyola