Thankful Thursday

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.
-Cicero

It's been a little while since I posted on my continuing efforts at having a grateful heart.

I actually read an article recently on gratitude touting all the amazing benefits of having an attitude of gratitude. It was a timely reminder of far simple thankfulness can go in this time of economic craziness.

So here is my current list for all the things I am grateful for:

best friends
family
being loved
being accepted
being forgiven
being encouraged

clean water
an abundance of food
warm, comforting shelter
a dog that loves me
fresh flowers on my table
crunchy fall leaves on the ground
a coat to wear in the brisk weather

a job I find meaningful
a way to use my skills/gifts
music
art
theater
clean laundry
soft socks
small groups
books
laptops
community
homemade apple cake
trips with my husband
the opportunity to learn
meeting new people
rest

AAMFT Conference

Today I am on my way to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy National Conference in Memphis.

I'm feeling pretty happy about this because:

- I love getting out of town,
- seeing new places,
- my favorite person is coming with me,
- I am going to be learning in my field,
- and growing as a clinician,
- and I get to try out awesome restaurants in Memphis (I'm a super-tiny-bit of a foodie.)

I'll try and update you here a little bit on the conference. [but no promises.]

So my question is this:

Have you ever been to Memphis? If so, what did you think?

The Sacred Echo

I have been thinking about prayer lately.

One of things I have noted here previously is that God speaks to me though something I have called layering.

It's like when God really wants me to hear from Him I hear the message everywhere I look: at church, on the radio, from friends, from things I am reading, and so on.

Really this is a pretty cool phenomena and it has happened to me quite a few times over the years. When it begins to happen to me I am always eager to pay attention because I know it must be something I really need to hear.

So I found it cool that Margaret Feinberg talks about the same way of hearing from God in her book on prayer, "The Sacred Echo." She talks about hearing from God as if his voice is an echo - repeating of the same message.

I find it kind of funny to read a book on prayer. [Like sometimes I think, why not just spend the time praying instead of reading about prayer?] But I found myself loving "The Sacred Echo" and really finding it helpful.

First, I love that this book reads like a story. Margaret weaves together stories from her life and experiences in a very readable way.

Second, I love that this book is so real. I have never met Margaret but so many of the things she writes about are things I have thought or had happened.

Third, I read this book a while back in the middle of some hard times and it really did encourage me to begin praying in a deeper way again.

So, if you feel a little stuck in your prayer life or just want an encouraging read on the topic I would definitely suggest you check out The Sacred Echo. [And one of the cool things is that there is a discussion guide at the end for each chapter for if in case you want to use this as a small group resource or read it with a friend.]

To buy the book click here.

What has God been layering or echoing to you lately?

Good times through the decades

Since we were talking about dealing with stress recently, I have to say that I had the most fun, stress releasing time recently while checking out how I would look if I were from different time periods.

Just so you can join in the fun...
For some reason, I think I look so much like my Mom in this pic....








I used to have this hairstyle... I used to be so cool. sigh.

Stress Management - Book Resource

I found an interesting book I wanted to pass along to all those interested in finding out more great stuff on stress management.

Stress Free for Good elaborates on a lot of the tips already mentioned here and gives more helpful ideas.

One of the things that I like about this book is that the authors assume you don't have a lot of time or energy to try and figure out complicated techniques. Instead, they focus on quick and simple ways to give you help.

Also, all their techniques are scientifically proven to help stress. Nice. To check out the book online click here.

If you find that you have tried to manage stress on your own but still struggle it may be time to consider a counselor. A counselor can help you determine underlying factors and give you guidance as you navigate your journey to health.

[But then, being a counselor myself, I'm biased.;)

Stress Management #6: Creativity

Both in college and grad school I found myself stressed. Deadlines and pressures got to me often and the main thing that I found to manage the tension was through playing guitar.

There is just something about being creative and expressing that soothes and calms.

I find that a lot of folks can be afraid to try de-stressing through creativity because they say they are not "artistic" or "creative".

The thing is, even if you can't draw except stick figures (like me) there are ways you can express yourself creatively. For example, you might try just one of these options:

Journaling and Writing (hint: Don't force yourself to write about your mundane life daily. Instead, save it for times you feel you need to get your tension out.)

Music (Either playing an instrument, singing, or simply listening to relaxing tunes.)

Making a Collage (Look for pics you like and paste them all over a notebook, box, paper...)

Dance (Pretend you are training for Dancing with the Stars. Or simply enjoy the process of movement to music.)

Paint. (Don't worry about it being perfect. Instead, try doing something "abstract".)

Knit/Sew/Cross-Stitch (The repetitive nature of the stitching can be very soothing, while you're expressing yourself!)

What ways are you able to be CREATIVE?

How does this help your stress level?

Stress Management #5: Laughter!

Have you ever noticed how after a deep belly laugh you feel so much more relaxed and at peace?


It's true:
Laughter is good medicine.


This is one of the reasons I look forward to watching "The Office" on Thursday nights. Yep. Dwight never fails me.

But seriously. There is a whole lot of research on how good laughter is for you. And it's actually exercise for your stomach. How great is that?!?

Sometimes I watch comedians on the internet for some good anytime laughs. It's like a free comedy club!

[For those of you from church backgrounds I recommend Tim Hawkins. I had quite the belly laugh while listening to him recently...]

For more info on the benefits of laughter as stress relief check out this website.

fat talk free

A little break from stress management to ask you to check out this very cool video...

Click Here.


What do you think???

Stress Management #4: Exercise!

This little series on stress management would be incomplete without some talk on exercise.

If you've ever exercised regularly you know that exercise is a great stress reducer.

Exercise triggers chemicals in your body to help you feel good. It also helps you sleep [as well as about a ton of other positive things].

I think one of the things that stops folks (and me!) from exercising regularly is an all or nothing mentality: either I need to have at least 30 minutes of great exercise or I'm not going to do it at all.

The thing is, even a little exercise is helpful.

Going for a brisk 5 minute walk can really take the edge off of stress.

And while doing 5 minutes of stretching will not be the same as an hour of yoga, it can lessen tension and give a some relief.

So reject that all or nothing mentality and embrace even the small amount of time you have as a way to manage stress.

Stress Management #3: Guided imagery

One of the more pleasurable forms of stress management is guided imagery.

What I like about guided imagery is that it is like a little mini vacation, wherever you may be.

Basically, you lay down and start with the abdominal breathing previously described.

Then imagine the most relaxing place you can.

Sometimes I imagine a lovely country meadow.

Sometimes a lush forest.

Sometimes a beautiful beach.

The point is to imagine the place using all your senses.

How does it look?

How does it smell?

How does it sound?

How does it feel?

How does it taste?

Eventually you can bring yourself back to the real world refreshed and de-stressed.

Try out guided imagery and let me know what you think. What is your favorite imaginary relaxation spot?

Stress Management #2: Progressive Relaxation

It's been a busy weekend [spent with good friends] so sorry I'm a little behind on this series. But hopefully you've had time to master the art of deep breathing.

Today we are going to take deep abdominal breathing one step further into
progressive relaxation.

If you've never done progressive relaxation you are missing out on a revolutionary stress management tool that has been demonstrated to help by:

* Slowing your heart rate
* Lowering blood pressure
* Slowing your breathing rate
* Reducing the need for oxygen
* Increasing blood flow to major muscles
* Reducing muscle tension

[I first learned about this method in a class I took on stress management and trust me when I say that it really is effective. I practice progressive relaxation regularly.]

To practice progressive relaxation start with the basic abdominal breathing and then - focusing on your body - move on to tensing and relaxing each major part of your body. I recommend that you read a couple of the methods here or here.

You can also find audio guides to progressive relaxation that can help to limit distractions. It helps especially at the beginning when you are learning the technique.

Practice progressive relaxation daily and you will see a change in your ability to relax and de-stress. After time you will be able to trigger the relaxation response simply by thinking about the method. Pretty cool.

And it is simple, fast, and free.

Try it today and let me know what you think!

[This process of relaxation is guaranteed to happen because it is based on a principle of muscle physiology. Whenever you create tension in a muscle and then release the tension the muscle has to relax. The muscle does not have a choice. It must happen. The interesting aspect of this process is that the muscle will not only quickly relax back to its pre-tensed state, but if it is allowed to rest, will become even more relaxed that it was. As this procedure of creating tension and then releasing it is applied to every major muscle group of the body, all of these muscles will become more relaxed than when you started. from lessons4living.com ]

Stress Management #1: Breathe

Often when folks come into see me for counseling I notice tense shoulders and shallow breathing. Shallow breathing can increase feelings of stress, tension, and anxiety.

Taking the time to examine your breathing can dramatically help you learn to deal with stress and tension.

To test your breathing do this simple check:

1. Put one hand on your chest and one hand on your abdomen (just below your rib cage).

2. Take a deep breath in.

3. Notice - is your your chest mostly moving, or is your abdomen mostly moving?

If your chest is moving a lot you are breathing shallowly. Instead, take a deep breath and move only your abdomen without moving your chest. It might feel awkward at first if you are used to shallow breathing, but trust that you are getting more oxygen this way.

When you notice yourself feeling stressed

*take a minute and focus on your breathing.

*Make sure you are breathing from your abdomen,

*breathe in slowly through your nose while counting to five (in your mind), and

*breathe out through your mouth while counting to five.

This is superfast, easy, and a great stress management tool!