one weird dream

Let's talk dreams.

[This site is called "therapy" after all...]

From time to time someone will ask me what I think about dreams.

Yes, we dream.

Yes, I dream.

Yes, sometimes I think dreams are very symbolic and reveal something from our unconscious.

And yes, sometimes dreams are difficult to unravel and we just let them be.

I had the grossest dream of all time the other night. Well, maybe not of all time. But close.

I was dreaming I was hungry and my stomach felt funny. I was looking for different things to eat and someone offered me a nice bowl of mice. Yes, a pile of live, raw little white mice. I said no thanks and felt very nauseous. Then, I was still looking for food and someone offered me a big helping of chopped up, fried pieces of mice thinking surely I wouldn't mind eating mice if they were cooked. Yes, still the little white ones. And I said, "No! Now I want to throw up."

[I'm not sure if I should have given you that glimpse into my odd unconscious.]

One could imagine all kinds of interpretations from this dream.

-I'm a snake but don't want to eat my prey.

-I'm hungry for life but unwilling to take the nourishment life provides to me.

And plenty of other interpretations. [Feel free to pipe in with yours.]

Still, my guess is that somehow the little white mice I had seen in a pet store that day got stuck in my head (and the story of how they are eaten by prey). And my upset stomach worked its way into my dream combining the mice as a nice backdrop for nausea.

So sometimes dreams are a wonderful glimpse into our complex psyche. And sometimes they are just weird dreams.

What do you think of dreams?

is botox the new norm?

Would you get botox if you were offered it as a gift?

How about plastic surgery?

Check out this article reporting the trend of some brides giving these look altering gifts to their bridesmaid attendants.

Wow. What a gift. A free boob job to be in a wedding.

This is a tricky subject. And of course, altering one's appearance is a highly personal decision.

Still, it saddens me how commonplace plastic surgery has become. And it frightens me to realize how tempting it can be.

11.7 million cosmetic procedures were performed in the United States in 2007. (surgery.com)

My question:

What would happen if we chose to celebrate diversity in appearance, rather than striving to achieve a uniform look - no wrinkles, small nose, large breasts?

[It reminds me of an old episode of the Twilight Zone where the "beautiful" people are going in to get surgery because everyone is afraid of them. It leads us down the path of how we define beauty.]

my night shift survival guide

Life is different lived on the opposite schedule of the majority of folks.

The last three days I have been on call and haven't gotten home till around 8am. I've been going to sleep just after that. Yes, it's different. Yes, it is hard to sleep in the daytime and just hard in general. But yes, it is rewarding to help folks in crisis in the middle of the night.

So here is my night shift survival guide:

1. Get plenty of sleep. Keep your room as dark and quiet as possible, and try to sleep the full 8 hours you would normally sleep.

2. Practice relaxation and stress management techniques. Whether it's yoga, meditation, deep breathing, or journaling, make sure you take time to relax and re-center yourself to counter-act the stress of being up all night.

3. Drink a lot of water. It isn't always natural to drink a lot of water at night so make sure you always have a big container of water near you to keep you from getting dehydrated or turning to sugar or caffeine laden beverages.

4. Maintain an active social life. Make it a point to get together with friends at times when you are not working. Working night shift can contribute to a sense of isolation, but making regular appointments and dates with friends will bypass loneliness.

5. Get some sunshine. Lack of sunshine can contribute to depression so make sure you get at least an hour of sunshine every day. Whether it's in the morning or afternoon doesn't matter but going for a leisurely stroll in the sun will contribute to your sense of well being.

6. Maintain a positive attitude. Appreciate having a job where you are able to contribute to society and use your skills. Be happy about the little things like less traffic on a commute or being able to see the first morning light.


Have you ever worked 3rd shift? How did you survive?

Dogs a great support of Mental Health

One of the readers (I can stand on my head. for a long time.)here recently commented on how great dogs can be for mental health,

"I think dogs promote wellbeing and mindfulness. Dogs are just a great companion, and fulfill similar roles as a human in some ways, I think, at least for some people."

Well said.

There has been increasingly more research and awareness on the positive effect that dogs (and pets in general) have on our mental health.

In fact, some treatment programs give clients a dog when they first enter the program as a way to increase bonding, attachment, and responsibility in their clients.

Another program advocates folks with depression have a dog as an additional means of support.

Ways Dogs May Help:

* Ensure that you are getting some exercise
* Help reduce loneliness and isolation
* Facilitate positive social interactions
* Provide a source for enjoyable activities such as grooming,playing and
companionship.(www.supportpartnersprogram.com)

I have definitely seen this to be true in my own life and the lives of friends and family who are pet owners. [Francine is a great support to me!]

For more information on how to include a pet as a part of your treatment for depression click here.

Do you have a pet? If so, how has your pet positively impacted your life?

Jobs I've Had (or the random making of a therapist)

...Thanks to Beth Brawley Taylor for the fun idea.

[I've come a long way.]

housecleaner, organizer

babysitter

frozen yogurt store worker (I still love peanut butter frozen yogurt)

McDonalds employee (oh yeaaaaaaah)

more babysitting

daycamp counselor

Waitress (I lasted three weeks. haha)

Department Store employee (Mervyns, a great discount on clothes)

Promotions Assistant for a Bookstore (great title, but not very fun)

Receptionist (at my college. and my husband had the same job when we met. smiles.)

Teacher's Assistant

Bed and Breakfast Cleaner (for a three story flat in downtown Chicago)

Camp Counselor (it took so much energy but was so much fun!)

more babysitting

Swim shop worker

Telemarketer (yes I know.)

more babysitting (well, I like kids)

Youth Leader

Group Home Counselor

Mental Health Therapist (inpatient psychiatric hospital)

Home based family therapist (thankfully I made it through school!)

Child and Adolescent Therapist (state mental health)

Clinical Case Manager

Community Groups Coordinator and Trainer

Psychological Crisis Assessor

Marriage and Family Therapist (Yeah!)

Thankful Thursday

Something I've been trying to do lately:

daily make a list of things I am grateful for.

I don't always remember, but when I do I know I always feel better about life. For some reason, simply listing out things I'm grateful for reminds me of what is most important and all that I really have in this life.

Here's today's list:

Unconditional love
Hope
Peace
Family
Close Friends
my dog Francine
blue skies
white puffy clouds
comfy couches
homemade quilts to cuddle with
my wedding ring and all that it symbolizes
green grass
homemade food
music
my laptop
e-mails from old friends
unexpected laughter
playing games (and winning. haha)
air conditioning
thunder storms
beds (especially after working all night)
a dvr
hands that move and create and hug
feet that walk
a body that dances
comfy clothes
the sound of crickets at night
fireflys
campfires
smores
guitar music
singing
help around the house

What are you thankful for?

Ask Any Question get FREE feedback

Let's say that you could ask a Marriage and Family Therapist anything you wanted, anything at all.

For FREE.

And you could be anonymous when asking it.

What would you ask?

all things ABBA

First, let it be known:

I LOVE musicals.

[Remember when I said my secret dream is to star on Broadway?]



This is my husband's favorite thing about me.

[or not.]

So I went to see Mama Mia last night with my mom (yes, my parents are visiting!), my mom-in-law, and my cousin-in-law (is that even a title?).



It was so much fun! I loved all the music, the acting, the cast, and it was actually pretty funny. I would love to see this on Broadway, but even in the theater it is great.

So if you love movies and you're looking for a pick me up - go see it.

debate on teen pregnancy

It seems there is a quite a debate on teen pregnancy these days.

It's been all over the media:

Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy.

The Gloucester teen pregnancy pact.

The very popular movie Juno (which I happened to love).

And a new article is reporting teen pregnancies are up for the first time in 15 years.

And of course, with something like teen pregnancy everyone is looking for something or someone to blame:

- the sexualized culture

- the recent attention pregnant girls have gotten in the media

- loss of "traditional family values"

- poor parenting

- poor access to birth control

- abstinence only education

- mixed messages sent to youth about sex

And all the while I am wondering -

what resources and help are really available to all these pregnant teens... and their children?

Wall-E... not so phat

After wanting to see Wall-E since it first came out, I finally saw the movie tonight.

Overall, I loved most of the movie.

I loved how Wall-E and "Eva" are robots that manage to save a declining spaceship of humans [and the planet earth] while falling in love.

Ahhh.

Sigh.

The movie has much to say about consuming and the environment. Humans basically destroy the planet for a very long time because of mass consumerism and the trash it produces.

Of course I don't mind a little jab at consumerism from the movie industry, even if it is a bit ironic coming from Disney who is probably at this moment creating quite a lot of Wall-E products that will eventually end up in the trash.

Still, I was quite uncomfortable with the viewpoint on humans. In the film, humans are so entrapped in the "everything is about my comfort" mentality that they become very large and not so smart. In a way I can understand what the movie is trying to say about our bloated society by demonstrating a very bloated human in the end. But this line of thinking contributes to the very real stereotype in our society that fat people are lazy, stupid, and harmful to society.

When I got home tonight I found that I'm not the only one who was concerned about this "fat" message:

Slate writes,

"According to this lazy logic, a fat body stands in for a distended culture: We gain weight and the Earth suffers. If only society could get off its big, fat butt and go on a diet!

But the metaphor only works if you believe familiar myths about the overweight: They're weak-willed, indolent, and stupid. Sure enough, that's how Pixar depicts the future of humanity. The people in Wall-E drink "cupcakes-in-a-cup," they never exercise, and if they happen to fall off their hovering chairs, they thrash around like babies until a robot helps them up. They watch TV all day long and can barely read.

It ought to go without saying that this stereotype of the "obese lifestyle" is simply false." (Engber, 08)

It saddens me because it is one more piece of media [especially focused on children] that leads to the same conclusion of fear of one's body.

This in a society when most girls would already rather be stupid, blind, or run over by a truck that be fat. And 81% of ten year olds are afraid of being fat. And at least 10 million women have dangerous eating disorders. {National Eating Disorders Association)

In the end I really liked Wall-E... especially if the movie can be a platform to further educate people on body stereotypes in the media...

Did you see Wall-E? What did you think?

reality check laughs

for some reason this second one made me laugh out loud...

few treatment options when uninsured

Back in 2001 I was diagnosed with a fairly serious illness.

At the time I was living in Massachusetts working and attending grad school. The illness eventually got bad enough that I decided to move home to California to get some much needed rest and rejuvenation (thanks mom and dad).

Because I was not working I did not automatically qualify for any health insurance. And because of my pre-existing illness, I was disqualified from pretty much any other insurance company.

And so I had a little taste of what it is like to navigate health care in American without insurance -- when I really needed good healthcare.

Still, what I endured for a year is nothing compared to what many Americans endure in a lifetime.

"Nearly 47 million Americans, or 16 percent of the population, were without health insurance in 2005, the latest government data available." (DeNavas-Walt, C.B. Proctor, and J. Smith. 2006)

Finding quality, cost effective mental health services without health insurance seems extremely difficult. There are state resources (thankfully!), but they are limited and because of a lack of resources they are not always able to give the best of care (remember that article in the Atlanta Journal I told you about?).

Folks with mental health difficulties often do not have health insurance. Frequently they do not have health insurance because their mental illness prevents them from being stable with good jobs.

Those with the greatest needs have the least access to treatment and services.

That really bothers me.

Yet, I'm not sure what I can do to make a difference.

Any ideas?

all things American Girl dolls

I walked into the downtown Marriott in Chicago and sitting behind the concierge was a little doll standing in a stylish outfit. Strolling around the city I began to notice these little dolls all over the place. Girls, mothers, and grandmothers, holding baby dolls and strolling baby dolls over the city.

Obviously I was intrigued.

We noticed an American Girl store near the popular water tower mall. Crowds of girls and families were walking in and out of the store holding their dolls. No one came out of the store without a posh bag with the American Girl logo.

I decided I must enter as part of my research on the culture of girls in America.

American girl dolls and accessories lined three floors of store that included a hair styling area for dolls, a doll hospital, a doll theater, and a doll cafe (where you can bring your doll for meals with you). Wow. Quite a lot of doll stuff.

The plus side of all things American doll is what appears to be the opposite of other popular dolls. The dolls still look like young children and do not have adult features or lifestyles. Rather, they do things like ice skate or run around with a puppy named Coconut. Or, if they are one of the historic line of dolls they have story lines such as escaping slavery or living during the revolution. [One of the popular historical doll's story is currently being featured in a movie in nationwide theaters.]

One of the down sides to all things American doll is the mass consumerism related to the product. Each doll is approximately $95 and that doesn't include the massive amount of products that go along with each doll - outfits for all occasions, outfits that girls can wear to match their dolls, accessories, houses, and every other thing imaginable. An American Girl doll can be quite an investment.

All in all I have to say I'm not opposed to the American Girl line. It's a clever marketing scheme with childlike products attempting to inspire girls to great things. In fact, I know if I were a young girl I would be coveting all things American Girl. Still, something inside me squirms a little about some of the gender stereotypes and the massive amount of cash required to own a little piece of Americana.

What do you think about all things American Girl?

I just joined The Office bandwagon....

Everyone kept telling me how funny The Office is.

So I finally got the dvds.

And guess what?

Everyone was right.

I think it's hilarious.

And yes, Dwight is my absolutely favorite character.

Who is your favorite character?

[And yes, I took a little online test to see which office character I am most like.... just as long as I'm not a Michael...]

Which Office Character Are You?
	You are part Jim. You are personable, easy-going, and always socially aware. Your great sense of humor and impishness soften the blow of what might otherwise be a dark, cutting cynicism.
	You are part Pam. You are sweet and likable, but your shyness makes it hard for you to express yourself sometimes. Regardless, you are always there for your friends and will usually come out of your shell to help anyone.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

a small piece of excitement in my life

This evening (after crashing from working far too much) I was persuaded to go outside.

And it ended up being a great thing because I found a ton of wild blackberries on our land.

[I'm in love with free wild juicy blackberries.]



*smiles.

Some pics for ya

Good Anniversary Times


Chicago Pizza!

a vacation tip for ya

Don't plan to work a very long shift the day you get back from time off.

We just got home.

Sometimes when I return from vacation I feel so happy to be home again.

I'm very happy to see Francine again but for some reason I was not ready to be back.

Hmmmm.

Maybe because I will be on call for 24 hours tomorrow.

Or maybe I'm just a party animal at heart.

I'll let you decide.

the windy city

9 years ago I graduated from college.

I went to college in Chicago.

I first met my husband in Chicago. (we didn't start dating till Boston)

I am now vacationing for my anniversary with my husband in Chicago.

A lot can change in 9 years.

[For the Better.]