dealing with difficult days

I had a rough day today. [Some days are like that.]

One of the things I like to do on days like today is sit down and list all the things that are positive about myself and my life.

It can really help out if you ever struggle with not feeling good enough.

Today I didn't remember that I like to do this. But that's okay because Jeff reminded me and named some for me. That's one of the bonuses of having a good friend nearby (which is another way to deal with a difficult day...).

handling anger in a healthy way

I have posted about anger before. So many folks (including myself) struggle with dealing with anger appropriately so I thought it was worthwhile to borrow (okay. steal) these ideas on dealing with anger from Dr. Gary Chapman...

1. When you are angry, the first positive step is to admit to yourself that you are angry. Say it aloud, "I'm feeling angry."

2. The second step is to ask God to help you handle your anger in a positive way. "Lord, help me to do what is right and good with my anger."

3. The third step is to ask, "Did someone sin against me?" If so, the biblical answer is to lovingly confront the person and seek reconciliation.

4. On the other hand if you are angry simply because something happened that irritates you, then ask, "What can I learn from this experience?" If the other person habitually arrives late for your appointment, perhaps you can talk with them and negotiate change. Thus the anger has served a positive purpose.

To purchase the book click here.

when food is love

I found this to be a thought provoking and intriguing read.

Forthright and soul baring, Geneen Roth weaves stories from her painful childhood into lessons she has learned about stopping compulsive behavior and opening herself to a healthy loving relationship. And she is very honest about the bumps along the way.

Roth asserts that until you look at your past and what compelled you to start the compulsive behavior as a way to cope to begin with, you will continue repeating the same mistakes in different ways. She advocates taking the time to feel your emotions (especially the painful ones) and grieve your losses so that you can finally move forward in life without having to numb past pains.

I think it would be an interesting read for folks not only struggling with overeating but any compulsive behavior.

[But you must know it is largely an autobiographical account of the author's own abusive childhood and her struggle in finding freedom.]

For more info or to buy it click here.

body desperation

I was recently made aware of something called "thinspo" - thinspiration videos on the internet. I'm sure you can only imagine how I feel about this given other posts I've written...

For more information check out these articles:

Narrow Minded (NY Times)

Is Being Thin Worth Dying? (MomLogic)

One of the reasons I have empathy...

I have a talent for acquiring embarrassing moments. Most people will ask, "What is your most embarrassing moment?"

But for me it would be better stated, "What are your most embarrassing momentS?" Because there really are that many.

One of these moments happened recently. All you need to know is toilet overflowing in public place.

I'm learning the art of laughing at myself...

What is YOUR most embarrassing moment?

I LOVE

long weekends.

Don't you?

ADHD treatment issues

There is a lot of controversy and debate among folks over the best way to treat ADHD these days.

I recently read a blog post (by a therapist) on AHD. I like her perspective and story so if you are interested in ADHD do check it out...

everyoneneedstherapy.blogspot.com

more on teen texting

I had just posted about problems with teens texting sexual material on their cells when someone forwarded me the following news report on the very same subject.

Apparently, more folks are becoming aware of the issue...

Teens Engage in Sexting - Click here for the report.

learning to nurture yourself

I post on this topic periodically because Nurturing is Important. It is something I want to keep reminding myself to do.

I do not choose to nurture myself as a part of some selfish plan to make myself first. Nope. Rather, I noticed as a young adult the down side of failing to take care of yourself... burnout, depression, illness, loneliness.

And it doesn't work to hope that someone will come along to meet all your needs. Nope. Instead, it can heap unrealistic expectations on a loved one overwhelming them and pushing them away.

So I make it a point to do something nurturing for myself very regularly. I am still learning to nurture myself in healthy ways.

Today I had a day off to rest. That was nurturing. I cooked a dinner for my family using fresh ingredients. I played with my dog outside. I sat in my garden basking in the sun while slowing pulling weeds from their roots. (the weeding was only a little nurturing. ha.) I played music. Tomorrow it will be something different.

How are you nurturing yourself? Or are you at all?

texting sex on cells

I ran across an article a while back reporting the practice of teens text messaging sexual images to one another on their personal cell phones (click here to see the article).

I have known a number of teens engaged in this behavior. [And it's not a big secret that a popular teen star's nude text photos ended up on the internet for everyone to see.]

So a reminder to have a conversation with your kids about texting...

the sexualization of young girls

I have not read this book yet so I cannot personally recommend it, but don't you think it looks interesting? Thankfully, more and more people are becoming aware of this problem.



*excerpt from Publisher's Weekly:
"We've all seen it--the tiny T-shirts with sexually suggestive slogans, the four-year-old gyrating to a Britney Spears song, the young boy shooting prostitutes in his video game--and University of Iowa journalism professor Durham has had enough. In her debut book, she argues that the media--from advertisements to Seventeen magazine--are circulating damaging myths that distort, undermine and restrict girls' sexual progress."

To check it out on amazon click here.

stuff on my agenda

June 7th I have the honor of playing with Matt Green and the Undead Machine in Nashville. His music is sweet and we have quite the rockin band. Tickets are $10 and include a t-shirt. Let me know if you're interested. Click here to sample his song writing.

stuff on my agenda

May 31st Jeff and I are giving another FREE Relationship Enhancement Seminar. It's a great chance to learn communication skills with your spouse.

As I tell the couples I counsel - it's like getting 7 hours of free marriage therapy. Definitely worthwhile if you need help communicating or just a day of fun with your spouse. E-mail me if you want to sign up.

what to do when you are exhausted

REST.

I'm going to do some of that right now...

FF&C now has a WEB presence...

My beloved husband Jeff (remember I told you I wasn't done posting on him) created a website for our practice and to him I say a big THANKS!

Check out the site and feel free to pass it along to others in Northwest GA who may be in need of counseling services:

familyandfriendscounseling.com

religion can lead to oppression

For a great post...and one I wish I had written...

click here.

a very special day

It's my favorite person's birthday.

Yes, his name is Jeff Green.

Yes, he is my husband.

Yes, I have posted about his wonders before.

and will probably again the future.

Yes, he is the best friend, greatest husband, loyalist supporter.

Yes, I love him more than ever.

baking like the best

After reading a blog post on the wonders of making homemade bread the other day I decided I just HAVE to make my own homemade bread.

My first attempt was basically a disaster, but I have not given up. If at first you don't succeed try try again. (That was the counseling portion of this post.)

Friday I went to Barnes and Noble and got a smorgasbord of books on baking bread (and other goodies) and settled into research mode. I ended up deciding that what I really need is to have someone teach me in person how to get it right.

Growing up I remember my Mom making all kinds of wondrous tastiness in the oven... pies, cookies, pastries, rolls, and of course her famous cinnamon rolls. I was glancing through all the pictures of yummy baked goodness and I kept thinking about how much I wished my Mom lived near me so we could bake together.

So I say Mom: Let's make a date to bake.

and by the way, Happy Mother's Day. I miss you and love you.

is that the end?

After a lot of posts I think I might actually be done with my series on the media (for now).

Although it seems like I see something new everyday that needs critiquing (and I don't even watch commercials).

It has definitely been a great refresher to me to remember to be critiquing images I see and I hope that it has been a reminder to all you - my great blog readers.

I am torn now as to what to do with this blog. Part of me wants to be very personal but another part is quite terrified of my rantings being a part of internet history forever. So we'll see. Maybe I'm not quite ready to be as naked as I had thought.

a slave to tech community?

I'm realizing how much time I spend wasting on the internet. Today I went to a coffee shop to do work and ended up managing e-mails, online communities, and blogs instead. Sometimes what can be a great tool turns into enslavement. I am not quite sure how to handle this yet.

On the one hand it is nice to have the ability to connect with so many people electronically. On the other hand it limits my ability to have time for quality face to face interaction... well, and actually get work done. (And on yet another hand my best friend lives 2,000 miles away as do many of my other good friends and family.)

Maybe it's just a matter of better managing my priorities and time.

Any thoughts? Do you find yourself idling away hours on the internet... or is it just me?

LOVE Your BODY

Facing the media's messages and images can take a toll on your body image. Check out the following ways to appreciate and respect your body (then pass this list on to others):

1. Your body is extraordinary--begin to respect and appreciate it.

2. Create a list of all the things your body lets you do. Read it and add to it often.

3. Become aware of what your body can do each day. Remember it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.

4. Create a list of people you admire: people who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world. Consider whether their appearance was important to their success and accomplishments.

5. Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.

6. Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from activities that you enjoy.

7. Wear comfortable clothes that you like and that feel good to your body.

8. Count your blessings, not your blemishes.

9. Think about all the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend worrying about your body and appearance. Try one!

10. Be your body’s friend and supporter, not its enemy.

11. Consider this: your skin replaces itself once a month, your stomach lining every five days, your liver every six weeks, and your skeleton every three months.

12. Every morning when you wake up, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can enjoy the day.

13. Every evening when you go to bed, tell your body how much you appreciate what it has allowed you to do throughout the day.

14. Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do it regularly. Don’t exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good.

15. Think back to a time in your life when you felt good about your body. Tell yourself you can feel like that again, even in this body at this age.

16. Keep a list of 10 positive things about yourself--without mentioning your appearance. Add to it!

17. Put a sign on each of your mirrors saying, “I’m beautiful inside and out.”

18. Choose to find the beauty in the world and in yourself.

19. Start saying to yourself, “Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way.”

20. Eat when you are hungry. Rest when you are tired. Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty.

For more resources check out NEDA

Not so harmless

There is a direct relationship between the time your kids spend watching television and playing video games and their emotional, psychological, social, and physical health. The more time they spend with media sources, the worse off they’ll be.

Seriously. I found this great article about the consumer study at thesimpledollar.com Click here to read more.

Can I just say how much I LOVE my husband, my dog, and my own home?

I'm back home now after a week away.

If I ever get around to it I'll post some pics for ya.

[And for those of you with small groups I greatly recommend a weekend getaway as a way to cement friendships.]