Destin, Florida...

Saturday at 5am we are planning on leaving for our VACATION. Time away from the daily grind is good for the soul and mind but also for relationships. Lots of families describe special memories and best times when they were on vacations because they were able to focus on one another rather than the multitude of other things we normally have to concentrate on. Plus, God likes vacations. God not only decreed a weekly sabbath rest in the Old Testament, but also regular periods of celebration, remembrance, and rest.

All that to say I'm looking forward to it... I will also be taking a vacation from blogging for the next week. BUT I will be back soon with more pics, fun, spiritual thoughts, and counselor insights. :)

30 day sex challenge

Relevant Church in Ybor City, FL is getting TONS of publicity for their "30 day sex challenge." I mean, the media is just eating this stuff up. I heard it on CNN and it's been all over the major news outlets. It's interesting that the media is so fascinated in a church prescribing sex for married couples. (I guess even for the church sex sells...)


(I particularly like the cheesy jazzy music during the video)

30daysexchallenge.com

Surrender

It's a tough task to give over control of one's life to an unseen God. Sometimes I choose myself over choosing God. It becomes about MY time or MY money or MY resources or MY body. MY self. Mine. (not so pretty)

Of course, at the heart of this is selfishness. But maybe also fear because I don't always trust that what God requires of me will be the best for me.. and I often think rather than being easy it will be hard. God does not let us linger in apathy and comfort but calls us to something greater. Sometimes in the process there is pain. And hard work. Everything inside says run from the pain. Choose the easy road. The "easy button."

How do I begin to trust in such a deep way that faith overcomes this tempting pattern?

Sex, Porn, Yale

Talks on sex, orgasms, and picking up girls will all be a part of Yale college student's sex week. Students will also receive free porn videos and have a contest for what female student looks most like a porn star.

You might be interested in one of the scheduled events: a debate between porn industry stars and xxx church pastors that will be televised on abc's Nightline February 22cd.

To check out Yale's Sex Week Schedule click here.

To check out ABC's Nighline Debate special click here.

What do you think about Yale's SEX week?

Valentine's Day 08

Okay. So I know that Valentine's Day is a lot of hype for certain industries (greeting cards, chocolates, flowers, jewelry) and in our consumer driven economy it's all about expectations of buying something for your "valentine". That part of V day I'm not so into. However, the part of Valentine's Day that I AM into is the part where we celebrate those we love. We don't do this enough. I mean, with the daily grind few folks take the time to really express their true appreciation for one another. And didn't you know appreciation is one of the MAJOR things women want? (and you thought it was only chocolate and diamonds....)

So here is your assignment (and this is coming from a marriage therapist after all):

1. Grab the opportunity to celebrate your loved one.
2. Tell your honey daily what you appreciate about him/her.
3. If your relationship is not where you want it to be today, then do something about it: Get some counseling, go to a conference, read a book on healthy marriages, something to make a change. Because trust me, there is hope.

What are you doing today to celebrate love?

One Relaxing Day

What could be better on a day off than stomping through dead leaves....


Walking next to a peaceful stream....


Or watching Francine decide that she needed to carry this pine cone on her entire walk with me through the woods?


Not much my friend.

in 11 days...

I'm getting excited. Why? You may ask. One word:

Vacation.

All day long I've been thinking, "Soon I will be relaxing with Jeff on the beach in Florida." And suddenly life seems so much brighter.

So in the spirit of community and conversations tell me what, when, where was your favorite vacation?

Mine is a very easy choice: My honeymoon. June 2002. Carmel, California.

-oh yeaaaahhh.

dealing with anxiety tip #7

Have Fun and Laugh!

dealing with anxiety tip #6

6. Challenge Negative Thoughts - tell yourself the TRUTH. Ever notice the negativity that happens in your head when anxious? Negative thoughts are common but dangerous. They can leave you feeling anxious, miserable, and hopeless. When you are feeling worried and down examine your thoughts. Chances are you have some scary thoughts running through the back of your mind! What to do?

1. Recognize and Acknowledge the thought. (it can help to write it down)
2. Ask yourself "is this really true? or do I just feel this way?" (you might ask yourself would my best friend say this is true? Would God say this is true?)
3. Decide what IS the truth and choose to believe it. Replace your negative thought with the TRUTH whenever you realize you are having that negative thought again.

It's oh so common to think negatively and takes practice and hard work to train your mind to tell yourself the truth. BUT it's well researched and documented as a real way to deal with anxiety.

dealing with anxiety tip #5

Okay so obviously I have a lot to say about anxiety...

5. Take time to NURTURE yourself. When anxiety strikes it is easy to jump into "survival" mode and begin to do those things that just aren't the greatest for you - I'm sure you know which vices trick you into thinking they're nurturing only to leave you feeling yucky later. Instead focus on what makes you feel comforted, cared for, alive. When you are feeling anxious ask yourself "How can I nurture myself right now?"

Some things that nurture me: a hot bubble bath, cooking a delicious and nutritious meal, candle light and relaxing music, hot tea and a good book, cuddling with Jeff or Francine, and talking to my best friend on the phone.

What is nurturing to you?

dealing with anxiety tip #4

I was listening to the radio the other day and heard a sermon on anxiety. Oh so timely. The preacher was talking all about the phenomenon of anxiety being a HUGE part of our culture. Very true. Anxiety Disorders are the most common mental health issue in the U.S. with 19.1 million adults affected. So here's another anti-anxiety tip:

4. Write out your concerns and take them to God. Journaling is a time honored tradition that definitely helps anxiety. In our fast based high stimulus society it is easy to neglect time for reflection and even easier to hold onto concerns that you have no control over. Instead of ruminating on problems express them to God and ask for his help. And take a cue from the comforting Scripture "Cast all of your cares on God because he cares for you." Nice.

dealing with anxiety tip #3

I took my test yesterday. Bad news: it was pretty tough and I have to wait 4-6 weeks to find out the results. Good news: it's over and I feel so relaxed :).
Now for more anti-anxiety tips for ya -

3. Live in the NOW. Often times in life we get caught up dwelling on past mistakes or future concerns. In the meantime we miss out on the present due to our anxiety. If you catch yourself thinking of the past or future deliberately note it and consciously redirect your mind to the present moment. It can take some discipline, but it is well worth the effort. Bonus: you won't miss out on life.

dealing with anxiety tip #2

So the big test is tomorrow and I have another anxiety tip for you:

2. Anxiety is largely a physical experience. When people feel anxious they usually have a number of physical symptoms such as rapid breathing, heart palpitations, sweaty palms, butterflies in the tummy, muscle tension... you get the idea. This is because of the chemicals and hormones that occur in your body. Also, it seems that the body "remembers" when you get anxious about something so it is prone to experience the same feelings again the next time the anxiety provoking situation occurs. Lucky you, right? However, there are things you can do to change your physical state, thus changing your anxiety level.

A) Deep Abdominal Breathing - most people begin to breathe shallowly when stressed increasing anxiety. Instead, focus on taking deep breaths in out. Count to five if you need to. Try and get your stomach to move without moving your chest much and you'll know it's the deep breath you want.

B) Progressive Relaxation - your muscles usually get all tense when you are anxious and if you are like me your blood feels "racy". So taking the time to relax those muscles is one of the best things you can do! Click for how it works or how to do it. Trust me, it's quick, easy and feels GOOD.

dealing with anxiety tip #1

(Counselors are not immune to anxiety.)

The last couple mornings I have woken up with a panicky feeling and my heart racing.

ANXIETY!

There are numerous reasons for me to be anxious right now (the big reason is that I'm still sick and I have an important 4 hour national exam on Wed. But no big deal. right??) It's the perfect time to write some reminders on dealing with anxiety!

1. Remember that is totally normal to feel anxious sometimes. Anxiety is a part of life. As humans we have ups and downs. The good thing is that when you feel down you can be assured that you will come back up again. Just give it some time. Remind yourself repeatedly when anxious that anxiety will not kill you, it is normal, and it will pass.

coffeehouse concert series all about loving

This Tuesday we (Matthew's Table) have the privilege of having our first coffee house concert series. One of the things we are passionate about is showing love to those who do not know God. So we are hosting this concert series as a way to

encourage the arts in Dalton, GA

boost community among twenty somethings and

help those who know God mingle with those who need to know his love.

Bonus: I'm really looking forward to this Tuesday also because Matt Green is playing and he is a very gifted singer songwriter. (and I'm singing backup on a couple songs. cool)

This is one way this week I'm planning on showing love to some folks. How about you?

oh - and if you're in the Dalton area check it out!

some superbowl fun

Bridgestone Tire Super Bowl Commercial: Squirrel vs Car

Add to My Profile | More Videos

this was my favorite superbowl ad. It was great on the big screen. :)

the American health system

I have the flu.

I went to the dr. today. I sat in a little room for an hour and a half waiting for the dr. The dr. entered the room, spent two minutes with me, gave me a strep test and walked out the door. Ten minutes later the nurse entered, stated I don't have strep, and there was a prescription for an antibiotic waiting for me at the desk.

hmmmm.