the most important thing....

The Beatles said "all you need is love." I love that song. But while it is sorta kinda true it is also not. For example, we need air, food, shelter, safety. (Maslow anyone?) But yes, the most important thing is love.

I've been thinking about love lately as I have been reviewing my career options and choices. The ONE thing I want my life to be about is LOVE. I want to live my life in a way that when I die folks agree that love was the main thing for me.

Now, when I say love I'm not talking about feelings or some sweet romance (although that is good too ;). Rather, I'm talking about action. I want to behave with love.

So I'm asking myself how can I act loving today?

How can you?

Important Hotline Numbers

For those of you in ministry or just in life here are a set of important numbers you may want to print out and keep handy:

AIDS

AIDS Hotline
(800) FOR-AIDS

American Social Health Association: Sexually Transmitted Disease Hotline
(800) 227-8922

CDC AIDS Information
(800) 232-4636

AIDS Info: Treatment, Prevention and Research
(800) HIV-0440

National AIDS Hotline
(800) 342-AIDS

ALCOHOL

Alcohol Hotline
(800) 331-2900

Al-Anon for Families of Alcoholics
(800) 344-2666

Alcohol and Drug Helpline
(800) 821-4357

Alcohol Treatment Referral Hotline
(800) 252-6465

Alcohol & Drug Abuse Hotline
(800) 729-6686

Families Anonymous
(800) 736-9805

National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence Hopeline
(800) 622-2255

CHILD ABUSE

Child Protection Hotline (Los Angeles County DCFS)
Within CA (800) 540-4000
Outside CA (213) 283-1960

Judge Baker Children’s Center - Child Abuse Hotline
(800) 792-5200

Child Help USA National Child Abuse Hotline
(800) 422-4453

Covenant House
(800) 999-9999

CRISES AND SUICIDE

Girls & Boys Town National Hotline
(800) 448-3000

National Hopeline Network
(800) SUICIDE

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
(800) 273-TALK (8255)

National Youth Crisis Hotline
(800) 442-HOPE (4673)

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline
(800) 799-7233

National US Child Abuse Hotline
(800) 422-4453

MEDICAL

American Association of Poison Control Centers
(800) 222-1222

America Social Health: STD Hotline
(800) 227-8922

OTHER

Shoplifters Anonymous
(800) 848-9595

Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention
(800) 931-2237

Teen Help Adolescent Resources
(800) 840-5704

RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT

Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN)
(800) 656-HOPE

National Domestic Violence/Child Abuse/ Sexual Abuse
(800) 799-7233

Abuse Victim Hotline
(866) 662-4535

RUNNING AWAY

National Runaway Switchboard
(800) 231-6946

National Hotline for Missing & Exploited Children
(800) 843-5678

Child Find of America
(800) 426-5678

SUBSTANCE ABUSE

Poison Control
(800) 222-1222

National Institute on Drug Abuse Hotline
(800) 662-4357

Cocaine Anonymous
(800) 347-8998

National Help Line for Substance Abuse
(800) 262-2463

Source: The Center for Mental Health in Schools

Random Question

What made you choose your current career?

Preventing Suicide

In the last two days I have read two blog posts from folks with loved ones who committed suicide recently. To those people who are grieving I give my love and prayers. I have also seen a lot of suicide attempts this month and so I thought it might be a good time to give some resources on suicide prevention....

Warning Signs of Suicide

* Ideation (thinking about suicide)
* Substance use or abuse (increased or change in substance)
* Purposelessness (no sense of purpose or belonging)
* Trapped (feeling like there is no way out)
* Hopelessness or Helplessness(there is nothing to live for, no hope or optimism)
* Withdrawal (from family, friends, work, school, activities, hobbies)
* Recklessness (high risk-taking behavior)
* Mood disturbance (dramatic change in mood)
* Talking about suicide.
* Statements about hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness.
* Preoccupation with death.
* Suddenly happier, calmer.
* Loss of interest in things one cares about.
* Making arrangements; setting one's affairs in order.
* Giving things away, such as prized possessions.
(this was adapted from save.org for more information click here)

Long response to a comment

Well, I was writing this response to one of the comments on my "religion helps those with anxiety and panic disorder" post and thought I would go ahead and put it here for everyone to read...

Dear Puddlesplasher,

I loved your awesome comment on my blog because it voices what so many people feel. (I feel those ways sometimes too.) I think religion can be used by many as a crutch. But I guess I just figure who doesn't need some type of crutch and help in this world? We all have so many problems and there is so much suffering in the world that I do think it helps to know that there is a greater power that created everything and actually cares for us. I know I often feel broken and in need of some helping.

I do think however, that a true relationship with God does not encourage people to not take responsibility for themselves. In fact, I think the opposite is true. God gives everyone a choice. Some religions create a kind of fear in people of curiosity or questioning truth. This is from fear of people not choosing God. but I think that that the true God is big enough to handle tough questions. In fact, lots of folks in the Bible question God and his goodness and why He allows evil and suffering in the world. I have questioned this a lot too as being a counselor I hear some terrible stories of suffering - especially stories of abuse. I grieve a lot. I wonder how God could let something so evil happen to a child so precious? The only thing I have come up with (based on what the Bible says) is that God hates it too. He hates evil and injustice. Yet, he allows people choice and freedom and responsibility and some people will choose to exploit others. I choose to believe that in the end God will have revenge on those who abused others for their own gain.

Unfortunately you are right that religion can be a great divider. For centuries religion has caused divisions and wars and hate. I mean, the Jews have been exploited for a long time in the name of Jesus. That makes me really really sad. Really sad. Jesus was harsh on those who exploited others and kind to those who were the downcasts of society.

I believe that God is the creator and his presence is especially powerful in nature. So I feel especially connected spiritually when I'm out in nature too. I feel something rise in my spirit whenever I'm around anything of beauty - art, music, literature... If you want to know more about Jesus ask anything you want and I will try not to make it weeks before I respond. :P OR you could check Him out through the writings of the Gospels in the Bible. They're the first four books of the New Testament (you might have known that, but just in case!) Most people are pretty astonished when they read Jesus' words for themselves because they are not always what you hear from religious people...

Sorry that is sooo long!

Disturb us Lord

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

written by Sir. Francis Drake

This amazing quote was read this weekend at Breakaway. More on that to come.

Breakaway

I am very excited about attending a young adult conference this weekend called Breakaway. A good friend of ours who is on the Board of Matthew's Table (Ray Owens) is the director of Family Discipleship ministries that puts on the conference each year. We have heard about the conference from good friends and are really looking forward to participate this weekend. Plus our good friends Simple Fool who lead worship for us at ONE will be leading in worship. (Yea!)

We ask that you would pray that God would be present at the conference and that we at Breakaway would hear his voice.

random thought

Sometimes I get the feeling that the majority of young adults just want to be entertained.

Am I getting jaded?

Spiritual Gifts Quiz

I discovered a fun quiz on the net about spiritual gifts. I don't know how much stock you can really put into a spiritual gifts quiz, but it can be an interesting tool to help you think about where you have gifts and where you can put them to use. Plus, it can be a good idea to use them in a ministry to get folks talking and thinking about how they can best get involved and serve.

So to check it out click here.

By the way, my top gifts are pastor/shepherd, showing mercy, and teaching.

God and our Emotions

I am still planning on posting here on my blog but I may be a little tiny bit less often this month. It's been pretty busy for me with my work schedule and largely due to a big exam I am taking February 6th that I am studying my head off for (literally, my brain is only holding on by a string) and I will be out of town for a conference this Friday through Monday. So...

But I am still thinking lots of random thoughts. Here is a sample:

The other day I was listening to moody radio and heard this fellow talking about our feelings and faith. Basically he was saying that often we base our relationship with God on our feelings. If we are feeling intimate with God then we think we must be intimate. If we are feeling distant then we think that God must be distant. The fellow described how so many folks get really bummed out after having a really "high" experience with God because they expect that it will just continue and then when the daily grind hits in reality it does not stay so "high". And so then comes a big down. Rather, the man on the radio (sorry man, I didn't catch your name!) reminded that God is God no matter what our feelings are at the time.

These ideas are not new to me. I know that God is God no matter what and I can't base everything on my feelings. BUT it was such a great reminder!

I do have something to add. As a therapist I advise people to be aware of their emotions as recognizing feelings can give you information. For example, if you are feeling worn out all the time you might need to take a look at your life and re-evaluate your schedule. If you are feeling sad you might need to slow down and figure out what you might be grieving. If you are feeling lonely you might recognize the need for more people in your life. Well, the same applies to God. If you are feeling a certain way with God you might want to ask yourself why and what is really going on? It's know it's a cliche but there's that saying... chances are if you are feeling distant from God it wasn't God who moved...

views of the church

Survey: 'Unchurched' Americans Say Church Is 'Full of Hypocrites'

Almost three-quarters of Americans who haven't darkened the door of a church in the last six months think it is "full of hypocrites," and even more of them consider Christianity to be more about organized religion than about loving God and people, according to a new survey.

But the survey of "unchurched" Americans by LifeWay Research also found that some 78 percent said they would be willing to listen to someone who wanted to tell them about his or her Christian beliefs.

for the full article click here.

Using Your Gifts or Filling in Needs?

It was impossible for me to pass this one up, having to do with using your gifts AND involving animals... thanks Dad.

pain redeemed

Tonight I talked to a friend who is feeling pretty down. So down that he has contemplated ending his life. There are many difficult things that happen in this life. Troubles, sorrows, griefs. I myself was very depressed at one point in my life. Often I felt there was no hope. I am so glad I persevered and kept on seeking life. Now I have the beautiful and redeeming privilege of helping others wrestling to make sense out of senseless things.


Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

...and please say a prayer for my friend.

religion helps those with anxiety and panic disorder

John Hopkins put out an informative article recently demonstrating empirically how faith and religion can help folks with mental health difficulties:

A study reported in the journal Depression and Anxiety (Volume 23, page 266) shows that people with panic disorder who perceive themselves as being religious are more likely to experience improvements in their panic symptoms than people who rank religion or spirituality as unimportant to them.

The investigators assessed the participants’ ratings of the importance of religion, perceived stress, self-esteem, sense of control over one’s life (mastery), and social isolation at the start of the study, at six months, and at 12 months.

Placing a high value on religion was more important in predicting improvements in panic symptoms than age, gender, lifetime presence of moderate mania symptoms, self-esteem, mastery, and feeling socially isolated. Those who rated religion as very important had fewer anxiety, panic, and phobia symptoms and less perceived stress than other participants.

Previous research suggests that engaging in organized religious activities leads to many health benefits, such as reduced reliance on alcohol. The social aspect of attending religious functions now also appears to help quell panic and anxiety.

For the full article click here.

Post Holiday Blues

The Christmas season is officially over at the Green residence. Today we took down the tree and all the decorations and swept up the mess of pine needles that proceeded from a much dried out tree. It signaled to me that the holidays are over. I woke up this morning knowing this would be on my to do list for the day and felt so blue. I couldn't stop the tears from coming as I sat and looked at my tree before Jeff started the process of disrobing it.

I am not sure why I was/am so sad. The holidays come and go each year. I think it may have to do with the fact that it signals vacation and family time has ended for a while and it's back to the hard work of daily life. Maybe it's because I know a number of friends visiting are on their way back to school and away from our daily lives. Maybe it's the sadness that comes after something you wanted finally happened. Maybe unrealistic expectations. Maybe each year I have such hope at Christmas time and while spiritual hope remains after the realities of life return. Maybe it's just that I so look forward to having something to look forward to. (wait. that was confusing. even for me.)

Jeff hugged me and reminded me that it is not so long till Valentine's day. So now in addition to blue I am feeling pathetic.

Anyone else ever experience post holiday blues?

I am entitled to this?

I have been thinking recently about entitlement (someone's belief that he/she is deserving of some particular reward or benefit). Take for example the following story:

I was lounging on the couch enjoying the holiday spirit with my husband's family. My feet were propped on my lover's lap and I felt relaxed and at peace with the world. My sweet nephews and nieces were dancing and jumping and playing around the room. The tree was up in all it's glory and Christmas feelings abounded. I smiled to myself enjoying the sound of children playing. Then it was time for presents. I was eagerly looking forward to the excitement of presents because Christmas always seems more enjoyable with children. My nephews and nieces shouted with glee at the prospect of presents. They hopped around looking at the presents their eyes sparkling. As the children began to open presents each one would rip into the present, glance briefly at the present happily, and then throw it to the side in search of another present. This went on for a few minutes and then there were no more presents to be opened. Frowns and furrowed brows appeared. "Where are the presents? I want to open presents!" was quickly demanded. "There are no presents left. You opened them all." was the reply. "Hmmmph! I want more presents!"

And so another Christmas giving season comes and goes. I don't really blame my nephews and nieces for their sense of entitlement. The very act of opening presents is very exciting in and of itself regardless of what the present actually is. And Christmas anticipation is building for weeks before the presents are given only to be ended quickly with a mess of paper all over the floor. And these are only children after all. And young children. Developmentally children at this age are self focused and want what they want when they want it.

The problem occurs when teens and older folks like you and I begin to develop this same attitude. Often we develop a sense of entitlement such as "you owe me this." We think life's not fair if we don't get what we want when we want it. I can't begin to tell you how often I heard "life's not fair in the big city" when I was growing up. After hearing it a few hundred times I reminded my mom that we lived in the middle of the very rural desert. Then I heard "life's not fair in the big desert." So clever that mom of mine. The line was very frustrating for me as a kid but also very true. What we want and expect often does not happen. In reading an article recently I found a quote that I really liked that applies to this very topic, "The world doesn't owe you; you owe the world!"

What do you think?

seven things about me in 07

Taking a cue from the blogtastic Anne Jackson, here are seven things about me that were true in 2007....

1. I still like to act silly with my girlfriends.
2. I am always on the lookout for my next big adventure.
3. I like to bake... and eat sweets.
4. I am married to my best friend.
5. I continue trying to learn and grow.
6. I became a fan of high school football.
7. I got crazy about blogging.

What about you?

Random Fact

Interesting.

A survey from the American Hotel and Lodging Association reveals that the more you pay for a hotel room the less likely you are to see a Bible. A full 99 percent of economy hotels have a Bible in the room but just 73 percent of luxury hotels provide one. Also Bibles are least likely to be found in urban hotels and resorts and are most often at hotels near interstate highways or at airports.

But then again luxury hotels don't give you very many extras free - they make you pay for the newspaper and are not giving out any free continental breakfasts...

For the full story click here.