the virtues of ANGER

I'm one of those rare people that believes anger is a GOOD thing. What? I know. Anger is an emotion that many folks (especially females) fear. We fear anger because we fear "losing control." I'm not an advocate of losing control or becoming aggressive, however I am a big advocate of:

listening to anger,

figuring out what it means,

and appropriately dealing with it.

For example, I believe all of our emotions are God given to us for a purpose. Anger is often a signal that there is a problem in our life that needs to be addressed. When you don't acknowledge your anger you might never take the steps necessary to resolve your problem. Anger is great because it is a motivator.

When you are angry stop and ask yourself, "why am I angry?" What is the problem? Often anger is about injustice, not getting your needs met, or having poor boundaries. Ask yourself, "What can I do to solve this problem?" And then allow your anger to motivate you to make necessary changes in your life.

It is very possible to be angry and still act respectful and loving. The Bible speaks often of God being angry. Jesus is often stated to be angry. So instead of being afraid of your anger and allowing it to build up until you really do explode, learn to listen to your anger early on.

"Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life." Ephesians 4:26 (The Message)

If you want more help or insight into your anger a great resource is The Dance of Anger by Dr. Harriet Lerner.



**So what if your anger is about something that is out of your control? In that case it is a great time to realize you are not all powerful and learn to let go and give problems to God. (Easier said than done.)

I will say that I have encountered those that express anger inappropriately when they do not get their way. To those I say acknowledge your anger and practice allowing yourself to feel the anger without acting on it. You are learning delayed gratification and everyone will be very glad when you begin to master self control. Mature folks know you don't always get what you want.