New Year's Eve 08

ahhh. New Year's Eve.

I have to admit to a couple things: First I am astonished that another year has gone by already. Second, I am surprised and confused that it is already 2008. I feel like as I get older the years go faster. Is it just me or does everyone else remember the Y2K like it was so recent?

Anyhow, I am wondering what everyone thinks about New Year's resolutions. I typically am not too fond of resolutions as they last for me for about 3 weeks. But I do think that it is a great time to re-evaluate your life, celebrate any successes over the last year and set some goals for another year.

What are your goals for 2008? (remember that when you write your goals and consider them you are much more likely to achieve them!)

Merry Christmas to All

Something that Jeff and I decided when we got married was to spend one year with his side of the family and one side with my side of the family (we are considering adding a year into the mix to spend Christmas at our place!). Since this year is Jeff's family's year I decided to post a bunch of pictures for my family and friends who I didn't get to see and who I miss dearly!!

What I would like to say most is how much I love you and cherish you! Enjoy the pics!
The Beautiful Quilt my Mom made for Us!
Some Christmas Love
Christmas at Alfred's house
Our twin neices - they wanted to climb all over us. :)
Uncle Santa with our nephew Preston
Jeff and Francine in front of our tree
At Jeff's mom and grandmas' house
My favorite doggie and me

The Real Meaning of Christmas Part 5

Even though God is no longer on this earth physically, we who choose to follow God have His spirit in us. Present with us. We can have a present relationship with God the Creator and experience his love, his goodness, his light, and his willingness to be present. If there is nothing else to give you happiness, nothing else to give you joy - the very fact the God, the Creator, the powerful God - chose to become a human to show his love for you, that is enough. It is enough for me. To fill me with joy. Because God has been a human he understands me. He gets my weaknesses and problems. And he went through all of it to show us His amazing love. God shows and clearly proves His love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Jesus died for us. (Rom. 5:8 amp)

The Real Meaning of Christmas Part 4

God honored his promise to have peace once again with his people.

God sent his son Jesus to be born as a man… a God/Man present on earth with humans. God was once again with people on earth present physically. Jesus lived on earth as a man but also God. He showed us how much God truly does love his people - all people - created by Him. He made a special way for humans to be truly deeply intimate with His again - to take away all our evil and darkness by taking it all on himself. He died physically so that we humans wouldn’t have to die spiritually away from our God who created us and loves us. We humans have an amazing ability to be in the presence of God now because everything evil is taken on by Jesus - and because Jesus was a human, just like us, He understands out struggles in a profound way. He understands us. He gets us. We don't have a God who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. (Heb. 4:15 msg)

The Real Meaning of Christmas Part 3

The real true God has always wanted to be loved by humans and love them - to be intimate with them. And God had an amazing plan to make possible his presence with humans once again. God was going to become a human - to be like one of us - a human - in humanity’s presence - to show how serious He is about His people and His love for us. God promised his special people for a long time that a Messiah - someone to save us from our darkness - would be born on earth.

random thought

How is it that some of the best things for me- the things that give me life- are some of the hardest things for me to actually do?

spending time outdoors
exercising
cutting out the junk food
prayer

The Real Meaning of Christmas Part 2

Still, God wanted to be intimate with his people. He sought after humans and had a plan to bring them to himself for all of time. He began his plan with a special people. We know them as the people of Israel - the Jews. God chose them and blessed them and was a God totally unlike all other religions and gods. God’s leader for them, Moses, pointed this out. He said, What other great nation has gods that are intimate with you the way God, our God, is with us, always ready to listen to us? (Deut. 4:7a msg)

The Real Meaning of Christmas Part 1

In the beginning of time we were created by God. Humans walked with God and were in his presence. They were intimate with God. Humans were close with God. At peace with God. But humanity (in Adam and Eve) made an error, disobeyed, and sinned against their personal and present God. They chose to honor themselves instead of God. They were removed from the physical presence of God. And everything changed. Against its' will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. (Romans 8:20 nlt) Humans felt distant from God and put themselves and their own selfish desires above pursuing God and love. Darkness was everywhere.

how to keep from feeling anything

Get up late. Rush about to get ready. Hurry while late. Work the day away. Stay relentlessly busy. When the day is done work even more, watch tv, brows internet, brows magazines, keep up with online communities till bedtime. which is late. Anytime feelings begin start eating. or drink alcohol. or any other numbing action. Don't acknowledge feelings other than "I might be kinda sad or something and I am not sure why." Never take time to reflect. Only spend time with God in group settings.

Random Question

Do you ever feel sad after something you were looking forward to for a long time is over? even if you enjoyed it when it happened?

must read

Please check out Cindy Beall's Blog this week. She is telling a powerful story that needs to be heard.

Click here.

You will find the first chapter of her story and then you can click home on her page to read further chapters.

Confession

I recently found out some difficult news about my former college pastor. He was my college pastor for a couple years when I was in college and most recently has been pastoring a large church. I found out last week that he had been living a double life. While he had a wife and children he had been secretly living actively as a gay man including visits with male prostitutes.

My first reaction to this news was grief. I couldn't help thinking about the fact that yet another pastor I know had fallen to sexual sin.

My second reaction was anger. I thought about how this man was at times legalistic and would get in folks' faces about their personal sin and poor choices. And then I thought about how he was living a double life all the while.

It was then that I wanted a huge stone. A huge white jagged stone so that I could hurl it at this man with all my strength. That is the depth of evil and revenge in my own heart. For then I also heard Jesus say, "If you are without sin then be the first to throw a stone." Then I had another thought. Jesus said, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. You judge him for the splinter in his eye. But you have a log in your own eye."

And it's true. I am but one action, one poor choice away from becoming this man. I am often the hypocrite. Frequently my heart is full of darkness and hatred. Yet I choose to judge and condemn others. We humans are so very broken and bitterly wounded. It is silly for us (me) to pretend otherwise.

And so I return to grief. We are all full of sin so desperate for a savior. We need a messiah to come and rescue us from ourselves.

I can't help but think that if we were more able to openly confess our sins we would be less likely to feel the need to live a double life. We could be more authentic and our public lives would be more congruent with our private lives. Nevertheless I am at a loss as to how to start this process. For aren't we also prone to throwing stones?

Any thoughts?

so you want to change your spouse?

I found the following info from Dr. Gary Chapman and thought it so helpful wanted to pass it on!

"Everyone wishes their spouse would change. 'We could have a good marriage if he would just help me more around the house.' Or, 'Our marriage would be great if we could have sex more than once a month.' She wants him to change and he wants her to change. Both of them feel condemned and resentful. There is a better way.

Start with you own failures. Admit that you're not perfect. Confess some of your most obvious failures to your spouse and tell them that you want to change. Ask your spouse for one suggestion each week on how you could be a better husband or wife. To the best of your ability make changes. Chances are, your spouse will reciprocate.

Check out more of Dr. Gary Chapman's materials by clicking here.

December ONE

Our ministry to twenty-somethings- Matthew's Table - has an interdenominational service called ONE. Well, this Tuesday I am speaking at ONE. As I have said previously it is going to be an interactive worship service. We will have candles everywhere and opportunities for folks to connect with God using sensory experiences and some arts. I am really looking forward to it and hope and pray that people will be able to connect with the presence of God this season.

Would you pray that God will be with me as I speak (I am not use to speaking to large groups)
that God will bring those who need to hear this message
and that the young adults will realize afresh how real and present God is?

Young Adults and Porn

A new study is out reporting that porn is becoming much more acceptable to young adults. USA Today reports, "Most young women in the study said they personally did not use porn, but nearly half said viewing X-rated material was an acceptable way to express sexuality. Only 37% of the fathers and 20% of the mothers surveyed agreed....
The researchers found that young men were much more likely to use pornography: 86% reported that they viewed such material in the past year. The study also found that one in five young men said they viewed pornographic material every day or nearly every day."

This is really not surprising to me considering how prevalent sexual images are in our society, how readily available they are on the internet and cable, and how much I hear about pornography issues from those in Matthew's Table.

Are you surprised?

For the full article click here.

Long Week

It's 5:15am and I haven't slept yet because I have been on call for psychological crisis assessments and it's been a busy night (and week and month!).

This week I have seen clients, done many crisis assessments, attended two funerals, and numerous other tasks that are required in life. Someone asked me earlier this week "Is your spirit dying from it all?"

Hmmm. I had to think about it. I am sad about some of the things. and I am definitely tired and looking forward to resting. I know that in the past I would have felt like my spirit was dying a little. But right now I am okay.

How did that happen? When I first started in this field the grief affected me a lot and I wasn't sure if I would be able to manage it. Still, somehow along the way I have learned some things. I am learning to turn more and more to God and give him the grief and let him bear the burdens. I am learning to accept the small role I play in giving someone comfort. I am learning to recognize the signs that I need to slow down or say no.

I am so glad I am learning and that God continues teaching me! Thank you Jesus for answering my prayers.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the communities in Colorado that are grieving over their losses following the tragedy on Sunday.

May God grant you peace, comfort, and hope and may more and more people experience God's love because of this situation.

thought worthy

Brennan Manning -

"I have been a Christian for more than 38 years, and I have seen the fervor wear off in the long undramatic routine of life. I have lived long enough to appreciate that Christianity is lived more in the valley than on the mountaintop, that faith is never doubt free, and that although God has revealed himself in creation and in history, the surest way to know God is, in the words of Thomas Aquinas, as tamquam ignotum, as utterly unknowable.

your prayer life

I found a post on prayer over on Margaret Feinberg's blog and I liked it because it made me think more about my own prayer life. Here were the questions:

What is most likely to cause you to pray?

And what do you do in your own life to foster an environment or atmosphere of prayerfulness?

I pray most when I feel so needy for God that nothing else will do. Whether this is because of hardship or just because I miss the intimacy and sweetness that is found in the presence of God. The most very important thing I have found is to set aside a specific time each day with God. A lot of folks love time with God in the morning. But I don't love anything in the morning (except sleeping) so I spend time in prayer in the late evening. I have also started knitting while I pray because keeping my hands busy better keeps my mind focused. I don't know but it works!

How bout you?

Top 5 Albums

My current top 5 in no particular order:

the Beatles 1970s (while in college a good friend of mine lent me her copy of a Beatles anthology with their best of the 70s. and wow. the greatest stuff. I still wish I had that particular collection.)

Patty Griffin, Impossible Dream (I'm in love with this album)

Death Cab for Cutie, Plans (a newer favorite)

Amy Grant, Greatest Hits (what can I say? I was raised on it!)

The Best of Bach (one of my favorite songs of all time...Suite for Orchestra no 3 in D major, click here to sample it)

(close favorites: Sarah McLachlan, Surfacing; Keith Green, The Ministry Years; Peter Paul and Mary, The Collection; Ellis Paul, The Speed of Trees; Les Miserables, Soundtrack; Fiddler on the Roof, Soundtrack)

What are your top 5 albums?

I went to see a couple of cool folks play some music tonight. Feel free to check out my fine friends: Reeve and Brandon.

Shout outs to Sarah and Lindsey if you are reading my blog. and if so please drop some comments. :)

Anyway, I noticed how hyper I get when I combine late at night, good friends, and artistic stuff. It made me realize how much I DON'T relate at all to you morning bird types.

So tell me, are you a morning songbird or a night owl?

By the way, I'm a total raccoon.

child sponsorship

Back in the day I sponsored a child through World Vision. The very cool thing is that the child I sponsored eventually grew out of sponsorship and didn't need it anymore. Cool, right? So I adopted a new child. But after I was diagnosed with lupus and was sick and stopped all work for a year I had to stop the sponsorship. boo. It's been a few years now and I really want to start sponsoring a child again. Here in America it can be challenging to know where to start in terms of helping those in desperate need around the world. I love child sponsorship because it is a small way to really impact those in the most need all around the world! I am also going to encourage the young adults in our ministry to begin sponsoring a child as way to obey God's command to take care of orphans, widows, the oppressed, and the poor.

If any of you still need to purchase some Christmas gifts for folks why not browse through World Vision's gift catalog? I think it's a great way to keep from focusing on materialism during this gift giving season.

Click here for World Vision.

And for you other folks in ministry sign up for a display kit so that other folks in your community will be inspired to sponsor.

Real Intimacy

Earlier this year our ministry was doing a series on intimacy - what intimacy is and isn't and at the same time while reading the Old Testament I came across this verse.

Moses was speaking to the people of Israel and explaining to them why they should follow God's law for their nation.

"For what other great nation has gods that are intimate with them the way God, our God, is with us, always ready to listen to us?"
Deuteronomy 4:7 (the message)

God has definitely been teaching me about intimacy with him. I hope this verse hits you the same way it has hit me.

Random Question

How do you keep from being prideful when things do go great and you are able to do your best?

the end of the competition

One of the things that keeps me striving to be the best is the fact that I often find my value and self worth in the things I do. If I bake great I must be great. If you like me the best I must be very likable. but that's not the truth. The truth is that God created me in his image and he gives me worth and value. I'm a precious child sought after and cherished. It is very hard for me to believe that. I find myself needing to please others and win approval in order to be acceptable. In order to be loved. But God tells me something very different. God tells me to forget everyone else and focus on his unending acceptance and love. Worry only to seek and please Him - not to earn his love, but to savor his gentle and just presence. To lay in his open arms and find rest.

Competitive Women

I've been thinking a lot lately about competition among women. I have noticed that a lot of women are really competitive - and not just about sports or things like that - but with each other. I find myself getting caught up in the competition and I really hate it. It appears to be about being "the best." Do I have the best cooking? the best decorating? the best Bible study? the best children? the best...

Why is it that so many women (me included) feel that they have to be the best at things?

My Christmas Gift to You

My Dear Friends and Family members,

Somewhat embarrassing to admit, I'm not getting an annual bonus and Christmas is tight this year. I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts. Please let me know your sizes. You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I've included the instructions below:

How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads: You need four maxi pads to make a pair. Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part. The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top. Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part. Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), etc.

These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light and Get out the Sand Bags.

I've included a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers
for yourself.... Awaiting your response. It's crucial that I get the right size for each one of you!

Random Question

Have you ever experienced just how good it feels to do something nice for a stranger?